4 Painfully Awkward Christmas Songs

Lohan Holiday.

Speaks for itself, but: “A Christmas fantasy that’s meant for you and me/ Where everything you’ll ever want is for free just believe…“

I think maybe Lindsay Lohan thinks everything she wants is for free 365 day a year, like $45K stays at hotels, fur coats, jewelry… It’s actually sad because I loved Ali on Living Lohan on E! She was so cute. I saw her being the next Disney Channel star. Either way, a Lohan Holiday is the last thing I would wish on someone at Christmas time.

Christmas Shoes.

I don’t get why radio stations everywhere keep playing this song. IT’S SO DEPRESSING! The family is poor, the mother is dying… and then she gets her new shoes and dies before she gets to wear them. Seriously, can we all agree to stop playing this song? It’s awful.

My Grown Up Christmas List.

Lyric sample: “And everyone would have a friend/ And right would always win/ And love would never end“

Seriously? I think I speak for a lot of twentysomethings when I admit my grown-up Christmas list looks a lot like my childhood Christmas lists, amirite? I take my list very seriously and start working on it in September in a Google doc. Listening to this song is like hearing a Miss America contestant say all she wants is world peace. Yeah, right.

Santa Baby by Michael Buble.

Lyric sample: “Santa buddy/ a ’65 convertible too/ steel blue I’ll wait up for you dude/ Santa buddy“

I love Michael Buble’s Christmas album except for this song. Out of all the songs he could have covered, why did he pick this one? You can hear the awkwardness everytime he substitutes “buddy” for “baby.”