Kimberly’s Burn Book: Ringtones that sound like a landline

Welcome to Kimberly’s Burn Book, a feature in which I complain about things that annoy, irritate, or frustrate me. (We have a lot of ground to cover.)

746 Phone - Red

I wish there was a polite way to tell a stranger that his or her ringtone is supremely irritating and should be changed. What is the deal with landline ringtones? That BRRRRINGGG… BRRRRRRIIIINGGG… It’s so obnoxious!

Maybe it’s because I find the landline-ring-as-ringtone particularly irritating, but it seems like everyone who uses this ringtone can never find his or her phone when it is ringing. Don’t be this person: the one person whose phone goes off during a movie, wedding ceremony, important lecture, etc. The offending person digs through their bag, and digs and digs and the ringing gets louder because the phone is nearing the surface of the bag, and everyone around them is thinking WILL THEY JUST SHUT OFF THEIR PHONE ALREADY? Landline-ring-as-ringtone users are almost always this person.

Landline ringtoners (I’m shortening the nickname) also tend to talk on their phones in public just as loudly as their phones ring. Is it so much to ask that more people adopt text messaging and cut down on noise pollution? I know it’s not realistic to expect silence in public places like parks and stores, but these extraneous conversations can be such a nuisance sometimes. I was in the store today and one woman whose ringtone grated my ears was loudly spelling her email address over the phone (another pet peeve of mine), but admitted she “wasn’t great at checking it.” To quote Simon Cowell’s response to William Hung’s declaration that he had no professional vocal training“Well, there’s the surprise of the century!” I know it must sound like I’m describing someone who is at least 70 years old, but this woman didn’t look older than her mid forties.

That loud ring is like an alarm bell, warning unsuspecting passers by that they are about to be subjected to an inane and irritating conversation. Even the simplest of flip phones offer multiple ringtone choices, many of which are less intrusive to your neighbors. For the love of everyone around you, please pick one. Better yet, put your phone on vibrate.



Jessica Darling’s IT List #2 is Here!

Jessica Darling’s It List 2: The (Totally Not) Guaranteed Guide to Friends, Foes & Faux Friends

Even if you’re not a longtime Jessica Darling fan (in which case you should get off of your computer/phone/iPad and read Sloppy Firsts ASAP), it’s hard not to love Jessica Darling’s IT List. I’m so happy that a younger generation of readers is getting introduced to one of my favorite literary heroines.

As I said in my Goodreads review, this book took me back to middle school in the best possible way: a way that let me laugh at how monumental and stressful the smallest of things, like a false rumor, can seem. I wouldn’t go back to middle school for a million dollars, but I’ll always enjoy reading about it.

The IT List #2 takes place at the beginning of Jessica’s seventh-grade year, when her friendships with Bridget, Hope, Manda, Sara and Dori are proving complicated. Jessica hosts a sleepover party (referred to as the “PARTY!!!”) at the advice of her older sister, Bethany, and disaster ensues. Well, not completely. There are tidbits thrown in for those who have read all five books in the Jessica Darling series and know what happens next. A certain MARCUS FLUTIE makes an appearance. That is all you need to know.

#ManicureMonday: Is Rouge Louboutin Worth the Money?

rouge louboutin nail polish
Rouge Louboutin, $50.

The good news: Christian Louboutin has launched a beauty line that includes “Rouge Louboutin,” the same fiery red used on the signature soles of Christian Louboutin shoes.

The bad news: It’s $50 per bottle, and it’s backordered everywhere! Don’t ask me how I know this. OK, I was going to buy it as a birthday gift for someone who I know would appreciate it very much. (No, I do not mean myself, my birthday is in June).

Cheryl Wischhover at tried it and reports: “You can definitely get away with one coat, so if you’re a “classic red” type of lady, you could really stretch that $50 bottle into a lot of wears.” She also mentions that the polish didn’t chip until the fifth day of wear with short nails.

I was also pleasantly surprised by the rave reviews at 43 five-star reviews and a mere THREE one-star reviews. I’m not sure I’d buy this for myself. The most I’ve spent on nail polish is $23 on a bottle of Chanel, and even that is pushing it, although I do love my Chanel colors.

What do you think of Rouge Louboutin?


Jimmy Kimmel Exposes Fashion Week Wannabes

Fake it until you make… a fool of yourself?

I have attended exactly one (1) fashion show in my life, and the people I saw there varied from chic to over-the-top. No one wears a name tag, so it’s impossible to tell the difference between a legitimate industry employee and a random dressed like an extra from “Ugly Betty.” (There was orange fur.)

Jimmy Kimmel is here to expose the fakers of the fashion world. His crew interviewed people at fashion week about “lesser-known” fake designers. Tell me more about this Chandler Bing you speak of…